Category Archives: musings

We Are An Idea

 

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I keep gnawing on this concept that the United States is more idea than geography. It is really important for us to pay attention to, to name, to remember and we just don’t pay the Idea of who are its due.

Think about it. The pilgrims, the slaves, the convicts, those fleeing famine and political unrest, those fleeing persecution ended up here. Why? It wasn’t to be with other British or Irish or Poles or Jews, Chinese or – well, you get the idea. Africans were enslaved and brought here against their will but ended up, however tragically, a part of the great experiment, the great idea.

Everyone who comes here comes from a place where their geography defines their history, nationality, worldview, and politics. Why do they come? Why do they leave home and hearth, generations of memories, and a world of shared experiences?

They come because of an idea. Or in the case of those who came against their will, they hope for the future because of an idea.

That’s who we are. We are an idea. An ever-expanding idea of justice, self-government, equality, and freedom. We often get it wrong. Mostly because of where we’ve come from or where we’ve been. We crave freedom and fear it at the same time. We lust after justice and worry that justice for others will diminish us. Not so much because we are bad but because we are human.

Well, some of us are bad. Some of us hate. Some of us live in fear. Some of us have made the United States about geography. Our idea is supposed to temper and guard against that. But that is NOT who we are.

We are Cajun and Irish, Italian and Jewish, Chinese and Vietnamese, Thai and Pilipino. We are English and German, French and African. Bangladeshi and Indian. We all came from a place (or our ancestors did) to an idea.

And we need to remind ourselves every day. Religious freedom, personal freedom, freedom of speech and expression. Self governance – the idea the world thought would fail (please don’t let it be this year that it does!). Equality. An idea that does not and cannot remain stagnant but that must be expanded every time it is challenged by people who are oppressed.

Black Lives Matter doesn’t just challenge the racism in this country, it challenges us to remember, buy into, and own the IDEA of who we claim to be as a nation.

We are based on some really, really good ideas. Our founding documents are sacred in their intent. It is often difficult to enter an idea with preconceptions and prejudices of the past, but not impossible. It is our task. Our work. Our future. Our duty and our calling, in each generation, to live into the promises of the ideas this nation is founded on.

Don’t be the generation that allows our sacred ideas of freedom, justice, and self-governance to die.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Autumn

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I felt fall for the first time yesterday. Fall is a hopeful time for me. I know. I know. Spring is the locus of hope, new life, planting for a year of nourishment, the resurrection… The original season of hope.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in the American educational system but, for me, new life begins when the school year starts. As a youngster, I lived in places where the first hint of autumn meant Labor Day and the start of the school year. Fresh pencils, crisp paper, books whose bindings had to be broken in – all things that pointed to a new beginning. Not to mention having a new station in life when you begin a new grade.

So I’m thinking this, however belated, breath of autumn is my season of hope. Forget spring cleaning. The time is now to get rid of the former things to make room for the new ones. I’m a year older and a grade higher. How old and how high is irrelevant. This is the time to turn a page, to open a new chapter, to break in the binding of a new book. My clothes are  ironed, my hair smoothed down, my shoes shined and I am ready to begin.

We all know it doesn’t last forever. By Christmas papers will be sticking out of my notebook, the holes torn, my schedule, so meticulously managed the first two weeks will be a splatter of scratchings, and I will be slouching about in a twice worn t-shirt.

But today, today I feel fall. The energy of cool mornings and brisk evenings cast me into a season of hope. So let me go now because I want to organize my pencil case.

 

 

The Importance of Raising Righteous Kids

copy-of-globe-plus-childrenMary Boney Sheats, my professor in Religious Studies at Agnes Scott College, encouraged me to think about how I wanted to raise my daughter.

She posed the question, “Do you want her to be innocent or righteous?”

My answer: “Righteous!”

I realize now, more than I did then, what is required to be righteous. You can’t be righteous and uninformed. I allowed my daughter to be exposed to much of the injustice and hurt in the world. As a parent I directed her response toward empathy. I offered an alternative to despair: to work for justice with compassion. I let her know it was okay to be angry. I always pointed out the good or, as Mr. Roger’s mom taught us, ‘to watch for the helpers’.

The ‘innocent’ are walled off from the realities of life. Their protected innocence Isolates them from the complexities of the world and puts them at a disadvantage when they near adulthood. Of course, you give children only what is manageable for their developmental age but keeping children unaware of what is wrong or bad in the world leads to an unrealistic perceptions and expectations.  I’m also of the mind that protracted innocence is a source of internal turmoil when one eventually confronts both the evil in the world and the shadow side of the self.

At a certain age innocence transforms into piety, a tricky thing, not all bad, but most often the party is misinformed and reduced to simplistic reasoning about complex issues.

All this thinking about innocence and righteousness points me to the ethical dissonance between the political and religious right and political and religious left. The divide comes down to piety (the right) and righteousness (the left).

Now I’m not saying pious people can’t be righteous but it is not a natural partnership. Righteousness implies a passionate commitment to justice and I just don’t see that as a natural consequence of piety.

Today and in the days to come we need a population of critical thinkers who value justice and admit to the complexities of a multicultural world. We need a population able to make difficult decisions not based only on ones self-preservation but with a commitment to universal justice.

We need to raise righteous children.

 

The Ravages of Fear

alt-right-protestersThis morning I asked my friend, Erin why some people have a problem with political correctness. She told me, “They live in a different world than you and I do.” As we unpacked her statement over coffee and muffins, she talked about the fears people live with. Fear of losing their job. Fear of crime. Fear of things they don’t understand. Fear of change. Fear of the other.

If that is true, and I believe it is, then I understand the ravages of fear. Fear seems to give permission to behave badly. To lash out. To take a protective stance that may put others at risk.

Fear is the enemy within. It dehumanizes us to live in fear. It sucks out our compassion and generosity. We react from the reptilian part of our brain that either runs and hides or lashes out as we respond to perceived threats. And when we are afraid almost everything  feels like a threat.

My spiritual tradition, Christianity, invites me to a unique response to fear: love. I admit it is the struggle of a lifetime. It is counter-intuitive. It is also empowering. To love in the face of fear taps into a power so much greater than myself. When I live in love even the fear of death is trumped.  As my sacred text says: “There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear.”   1 John 4:18

The right plays on peoples’ fears and diminishes us a nation and belittles the concept of political correctness  even though ‘political correctness’ is just a term for kindness and respect for those who are different. I can’t be kind if I live in fear. That sends me down another rabbit hole: Fundamentalism plays on people’s fear of hell  doubles down with anti-political correctness. The thinking seems to be that  if I am kind and respectful to those who are different from me in their beliefs or understanding of the world, I am putting my immortal soul at risk.

One the other hand, the left seems to fear truth-telling. I began to hear the term ‘alt-right’ to refer to white supremacists, neo-Nazis, and other extremists, during this election cycle. I cannot help but wonder why we are using ‘soft’ terms to refer to provocateurs and proponents of violence and hatred. We need to name ultra right extremists for what they are. Not out of fear. Not out of some sense of vengeance or retaliation, but because hatred needs to be rooted out of our culture and identity. Hatred, like fear, is an aspiration of the far right that we need to take seriously and oppose vehemently.

If fear is the opposite of love and hatred is the opposite of compassion then let us choose not to hate and choose not to fear. Let us be the radical left that names and stands against that which threatens life and liberty and risks kindness and compassion to those who are different from us- by nationality, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, ability,  or race.

 

 

Faith and Forgiveness

ForgivenessThe truth is it is easy not to forgive. When I don’t forgive it feels like I have a protective layer against further emotional aggression. When I don’t forgive my anger feels righteous (whether it is or not). When I don’t forgive there is no way to siphon off my anger.

When I forgive someone who has hurt me deeply I kind of resent it. Perhaps that is not forgiveness. I would rather say it is not completed forgiveness. It has taken me a while to understand forgiveness as solely my internal process. Let me break that down:

Solely, mine alone, without any action or reaction on the part of another, mine to wrestle with, mine to resolve, mine to engage without expectation of changed relationship with anyone other than myself.

Internal, the change that forgiveness makes is in me. In me. In me. Forgiving changes my physiology. It changes how I view the world. It reorients me to something greater than myself, a way that my faith calls me to move in the world.

Process, I have come to understand that forgiveness for any unjust or emotionally harmful event is not a one-time thing. Sometimes I have to forgive a person who betrayed or hurt me several times a day. Each time I do, I move toward wholeness. Process is choosing over and over again to be the person my faith calls me to be. Sometimes I resent that I am choosing to forgive, but I choose it anyway. The process requires time and emotional energy to continue to make the choice  until it becomes my default response to painful memories, lost dreams, and dashed hopes.

I know I only do this because of my faith. It is easy to hold anger because the anger seduces me into believing I am protecting myself. It is my faith that instructs me to be vulnerable, to change the world by first changing myself. It is my faith that gives me the strength to continue the process of forgiveness because I don’t always gravitate toward forgiveness.

 

 

What Millennials Need to Know About Misogyny

hillary cuntSome of my favorite people are Millennials. I watch them with joy and amazement that many of the things I have fought for over the years are as natural as breath for them.

Young women and men assume equality in relationships, academics, sports, career paths, and the political milieu. Most are open to an understanding of multiple types of sexualities and gender identifications. But they often know little about struggles of my generation (I am now a grandmother) to bring those things to fruition or how tenuous those strides may be.

We are about to elect (if all goes well!) our first woman president and you are about to see the fecal material of a sexist nation hit a proverbial and huge fan. Young men and women will be surprised and dismayed to experience the vitriol the older generation understands to exist barely below the surface. Most gay men, trans-women and rape victims have an acute awareness of the vehement devaluing and violence still focused against women, but not the general population of millennials.

Most misogyny experienced by millennials is either so subtle as to go unobserved or so blatantly hateful that it is seen as an anomaly. Well hang onto your baseball caps and dew rags because we are about to take a ride on an out of control misogyny bus. We experienced a colossal (and to many, surprising) rise in racism after the election of President Obama. Many more will be blindsided by the virulent form of anti-woman hate speech about to erupt. I anticipate a kind of disrespect and hatred even greater than Obama experienced because sexism exists in every culture in our nation to greater and lesser degrees.

Get used to hearing ‘cunt’, ‘bitch’, ‘castrating bitch’, ‘dyke’, ‘bull dagger’ and a plethora of epithets that demean Ms. Clinton and refer to her as a sexual object – either hypersexual, non-sexual, or subversively sexual, all as ways of dismissing her authority and power. They will harangue her with demeaning and abusive sexual threats. And know this: they will not be talking just about Hillary Clinton. They will be talking about all of us whether they call our name or not.

 

 

Why Civics classes should be mandatory

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I just read Eric Metaxas most recent book, If You Can Keep It: the forgotten promise of American Liberty. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Metaxas reminds us that we are a nation based on the ideas of liberty and justice and, at the time of our inception, the unthinkable notion of self-governance. This link to his recent blog posting will give you a taste of his perspective: http://ericmetaxas.com/blog/few-passionate-thoughts-america/

In the current election cycle we are reaping the ignorance of major portions of our citizenry. We are not a nation conceived by ethnicity, geography, religious affiliation or shared history. We are based on the fundamental ideas of human liberty and justice. Yes, we fall short. Often and horribly. But our arc is one that, as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. reminds us, bends toward justice. We have a base line to return to, a vision pushing us forward, an innate valuing of justice and freedom that counters our urges for simpler more ‘manageable’ ways. We forget that self-governance is a relatively new idea in human history and that ours is based on those difficult, beautiful, and unmanageable ideas of freedom and justice.

I took Civics in the eighth grade from a very boring teacher who was, himself, bored. But I am profoundly grateful for the lessons internalized. I learned how our system of government works and why we created our system of government. As an adult I am able to engage with a deeper understanding and love for this messy system. When others see it as ‘not working’ I see it as working. It doesn’t work is when the actors in the system have no understanding or appreciation for our political character. Obstructionism is not in our character. Limiting freedoms is not in our character. Refusing to seek justice for people of different races, religions, sexualities, genders, and ethnicity is out of our character. It may be who we are in any given historical moment, but it is out of line with the vision of who we are called to be as a nation.

Those who are not familiar with the ideas on which this nation was founded cannot be called back to the vision. These ideas stretch us as human beings to act from, as Joe Biden reminded us, ‘our better angels’. As a nation we cannot act purely out of self-interest. At times it may be  who we are but it is not who we are meant to be.

So here is my call for mandatory civics classes. Classed where we learn to urge everyone to vote- even those who disagree with us – because we know voting is a higher calling than political affiliation. Civics class is where we learn the that this nation is based a commitment to ever expanding our understandings of  liberty and justice. Civics class is where we learn about the checks and balance system that limits the power of any one part or our government.

Everyone who participates in our political process needs a thorough understanding of not only the system by which we govern ourselves but also to the values on which our system is based. Civics class gave me what is often referred to as a ‘buy in’ to the profound process of self-governance. I want that for the generations to follow.

 

 

Dear Bernie – Stay and do the work

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Dear Bernie,

I’m not going to be very popular when I say this, but I am pissed at you. Here’s the thing, when you come into a group and work for change, when you get a seat at the table, when your influence is felt in every facet of the party, then you need *f—king* stay and do the work.

I was so proud of you and our party at the beginning of this election cycle. You and Hillary were able to state your cases without trashing one another. You refused to descend into name-calling. I listened to your ideas and hers and was pleased when my party moved closer to its progressive roots. I felt like we couldn’t lose no matter who one the nomination.

Now I wonder. Now I am thinking of all the bills you didn’t sponsor in your 30 years in the Senate. I’m remembering when I gave you a pass on some issues that are important to me because I thought you could be moved along, much in the way Hillary’s policies moved to the left. Whichever way things went it was clear that we would be working to find common ground on the places we disagree.

You came in and shook up the party. Great! I mean it. This nation needs two strong, opposing points of view to move us to find ‘a third way’. We lost our strength in those kinds of negotiations when we moved further and further to the right of center. It’s kind of like we had a reboot. I thank you for that, Bernie.

BUT YOU NEED TO STAY AND DO THE WORK. I was part of an organization in which energetic and well-meaning people stepped in, made large decisions that affected the very existence of the organization… and then left without doing the work of the things they set in motion. I resent that you are doing the same thing. You are not taking responsibility for your actions.

Actually, I am glad you are not the nominee because we need someone who will do the work. The tough, boring work of brokering change. Speeches are moving. Ideas transcend. But if  you are not willing to work with people with disparate points of view, if you are not willing to walk the long, tedious walk required, then you just used us.

you used usyou used usWe deserve better than that.

Take A Stand

images-7The rise of Donald Trump and the ‘tea party’ is frightening at best and prophetic about the path this nation is on at worst.

The last two weeks I posted about listening. I believe that we must listen to one another. But we must also honor the times we are moved to speak.

I am a long time student of Nazi Germany and the Second World War. I did focused study on the time period in college. I took courses on post holocaust ethics in seminary. I visited Dachau as a child living in Germany and was profoundly changed by the experience.

Donald Trump is dangerous. His followers are dangerous. They play fast and lose with our code of law- Trump even suggesting he could ‘shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose any votes’. Hyperbole? Perhaps. But completely indicative of an entitled and sociopathic mindset. His minions (more than one, more than two)  suggest that Hillary Clinton should be murdered. That does not include the trolls on social media.

In my naïveté I once believed that what happened in Nazi Germany could never happen here. But we are no different than any other nation unless we insist that we live by the code of law and cherish our constitution rights (even expanding them as we gain deeper understandings). This is what made our nation- not necessarily our ability to fulfill the vision set out in our constitution, but that we consistently return to the values of freedom and justice. Our military takes an oath to defend the constitution, not the president. Our president takes an oath to defend the constitution. The constitution is a great big deal. Donald Trump and the tea party seem to have forgotten that.

People are afraid. We are afraid of terrorism. We are afraid of one another. We blame others rather than take responsibility for the trauma our nation is experiencing. Fear does horrible things. It drives us to dehumanize others- other races, other religions, other world views. It isolates us from one another. When we live in fear it is almost impossible to trust one another and we need that trust as part of our social contract.  Of course there are people who are untrustworthy and there are scary people out there but we must not allow our  fear co-opt our commitment to freedom and justice.

Before World War II broke out, Neville Chamberlin, then Prime Minister of Britain, pursued a policy of appeasement with Hitler, giving in to his takeover of Austria and later, Czechoslovakia. Chamberlin believed Hitler had been reigned in. Hitler’s hunger for power was fed rather than appeased.

Why am I bringing up poor Neville Chamberlin? Because DONALD TRUMP and his followers must be stopped. They have already tasted too much power. And they gained their power by tapping into the worst part of ourselves: the parts that fear and hate. If fear of the other manifests in deleting the constitutional rights of our citizens, if hate takes root in our political landscape, the momentum will be almost impossible to stop.

Donald Trump and the tea party are dangerous. What happened in Nazi Germany can happen here. Don’t believe it can’t. Take a stand. Vote as if all our lives depend on it. They do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making a Way

making a waySo I’ve been wondering: is listening truly the radical act I think it is?

I ask this because I hesitate to make absolute statements (even though some of you might challenge that if you follow me on Facebook). But here’s the thing- I post things that I ponder about or worry on or that confront my concerns, anxieties or things I dearly love or that move me or make me laugh. I post things that are beautiful. Relative to the amount I post, I write or comment very little.

Mostly I listen to reactions. When I feel moved to speak on a contentious topic I try to remain both authentic and vulnerable. And willing to change. Because, as my dear friend reminds me, true listening requires a willingness to change.

I am inviting people to listen with the ability to change, to empathize, to be challenged as a radical act of peacemaking and bridge building.

I get it how difficult it is to be vulnerable, real, authentic about one’s deepest self in the face of bigotry, hatred, and mostly fear.

I extend this invitation only to those who have the support and strength and willingness or ‘call’ to be that open. As a woman, lesbian, Christian, feminist and white, I am in no way suggesting this is the correct or only path for anyone. It is not the only way. It is one way and it is an important way but we also need people who resist. We need people to call out bigotry and hatred and injustice. We need people to stand for justice.

It is not an either/or proposition. The call to radical listening is a part of the larger picture. It is an invitation to mutuality and community. It is another kind of justice seeking. It is making a path through the wilderness.