{"id":200,"date":"2016-08-25T16:16:11","date_gmt":"2016-08-25T16:16:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/?p=200"},"modified":"2016-08-26T15:52:42","modified_gmt":"2016-08-26T15:52:42","slug":"faith-and-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/faith-and-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"Faith and Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Forgiveness.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-120\" src=\"http:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Forgiveness-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"Forgiveness\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Forgiveness-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Forgiveness.jpg 640w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>The truth is it is easy not to forgive. When I don\u2019t forgive it feels like I have a protective layer against further emotional aggression. When I don\u2019t forgive my anger feels righteous (whether it is or not). When I don\u2019t forgive there is no way to siphon off my anger.<\/p>\n<p>When I forgive someone who has hurt me deeply I kind of resent it. Perhaps that is not forgiveness. I would rather say it is not <em>completed<\/em> forgiveness. It has taken me a while to understand forgiveness as solely my internal process. Let me break that down:<\/p>\n<p><em>Solely<\/em>, mine alone, without any action or reaction on the part of another, mine to wrestle with, mine to resolve, mine to engage without expectation of changed relationship with anyone other than myself.<\/p>\n<p><em>Internal, <\/em>the change that forgiveness makes is in me. <em>In <\/em>me. In <em>me. <\/em>Forgiving changes my physiology. It changes how I view the world. It reorients me to something greater than myself, a way that my faith calls me to move in the world.<\/p>\n<p><em>Process,<\/em> I have come to understand that forgiveness for any unjust or emotionally harmful event is not a one-time thing. Sometimes I have to forgive a person who betrayed or hurt me several times a day. Each time I do, I move toward wholeness. Process is choosing over and over again to be the person my faith calls me to be. Sometimes I resent that I am choosing to forgive, but I choose it anyway. The process requires time and emotional energy to continue to make the choice \u00a0until it becomes my default response to painful memories, lost dreams, and dashed hopes.<\/p>\n<p>I know I only do this because of my faith. It is easy to hold anger because the anger seduces me into believing I am protecting myself. It is my faith that instructs me to be vulnerable, to change the world by first changing myself. It is my faith that gives me the strength to continue the process of forgiveness\u00a0because I\u00a0don\u2019t always\u00a0gravitate toward forgiveness.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The truth is it is easy not to forgive. When I don\u2019t forgive it feels like I have a protective layer against further emotional aggression. When I don\u2019t forgive my anger feels righteous (whether it is or not). When I don\u2019t forgive there is no way to siphon off my anger. When I forgive someone &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/faith-and-forgiveness\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Faith and Forgiveness<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[7,5,13,8,21,19,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=200"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":206,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/200\/revisions\/206"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=200"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=200"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/connietuttle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=200"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}